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Dear Mr.
Government, Re: Passports
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process
of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio
Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable
from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me
where I was born and on what date.
For crying out
loud, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social
insurance card, is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30
years, my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight
passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to
fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all
those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody
please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my
father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed
between now and when I die!
I apologize, Mr.
Minister. I'm really upset this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is
going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals workin' there?!
Look at my damn
picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for
crying out loud. I just want to go and park my butt on a sandy beach. And
would someone please tell me, why would you give a heck whether I plan on
visiting a farm in the next 15 days?! If I ever got the urge to do something
weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to
tell anyone!
Well, I have to go
now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another copy of
my birth certificate, to the tune of $60! Would it be so complicated to have
all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport
the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too easy and maybe make sense.
You'd rather have
us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find
some one to confirm that it's really me on the stupid picture - you know, the
one where we're not allowed to smile?! Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're
ticked off!
Signed - An Irate
Canadian Citizen |
